Saturday, January 26, 2013

starting over

I have been trying to found a scrap of motivation and it has been really tough to do so. Last year after finishing Base Camp and only PART of the Strength For Life Transformation, we fizzled out in March.

 Well, around May, I found a diet by Pierre Dukan, The Dukan Diet. Very similar to the Atkins diet, but revised in healthier ways. I gave that a whirl and got down to 127 lbs. I was floored. I followed it to the letter and saw amazing results and swore to never do anything different. But it worried Clay with how much protein intake is required. But I have not seen my body like that in 10 years. It had not weighed that in 10 years. After the 2 weight loss stages, you move into a phase to maintain that low weight. I don't know why, because I did it right, but everything just consistently kept going back to the way it was. My body weight just kept climbing up, up, up.

So, after 3 months of putting my heart & soul into it and doing my very best for 4 straight months without fail, I was angry. So very angry & devastated that it wasn't going to stay. Typical me rebelled entirely against it and fully embraced everything I wasn't allowed to have.

And the holidays came.

And the clouds rolled in and haven't rolled back out for quite some time now. I miss sunshine and I feel depression taking over and food is like my friend, but not.

The clothes I bought after losing a bunch of weight are tight again & of course I don't want to buy more at this point.

I feel like my ambition has been totally zapped.

Clay wants to start Base Camp again just to reset ourselves. I know it will make me feel better, I just am seriously struggling to get a grip on myself, or even wanting to get a grip, you know?

So I read through the Base Camp section of this blog for ideas and honestly, it's helping. I'm remembering that I CAN do that & that it made me feel phenomenal. So here goes...I'll keep you posted.